What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Emerson

Well, I know everyone is dying to know how it was. CHEMOTHERAPY started yesterday. Aside from being scared out of my mind, it was actually OK. I'm sure the Xanax helped a little. The nurse was wonderful. She was very calm and reassuring and matter-of-fact about everything she did and every question I asked. When I got there, they just told me to pick a chair and get comfortable. It was a giant room with 3 sections of recliners lined up against the walls. There were about 10 recliners in my section with IV poles and a stiff side chair for a friend (or awesome, wonderful spouse). I chose one by the huge window that looked out onto the sidewalk and cars going by on their way somewhere important. They first drew my blood from the port, which was just a little pinch and way better than getting an IV. After they made sure I was good-to-go, they gave me steroids and anti-nausea medication through the IV. Then came the "jet fuel". The adriamycin is the hardcore stuff and is bright, flaming red. It even makes your pee red! It takes only about 15 minutes to go in. I did NOT want to watch it go in as I was afraid I would imagine all sorts of side effects that I didn't really have. So, Chris and I hooked up our portable DVD player and he conceded to watching a chick flick, but only because I'm going through chemotherapy! It was 50 First Dates. We didn't get finished with it, but it was really cute. Maybe we'll finish it today. The second medication, Cytoxan, took an hour. We were there for a total of 3 hours. Not too bad. They had a little snack trolley with sandwiches and soda and chips run by a volunteer. All-in-all it wasn't as terrible as I had anticipated.

After we were done, I felt remarkably well. We went our for ice cream and then to walk around the mall. I didn't last too long before I did want to come home and lay down for a while. A little nausea hit me later that night, but nothing terrible. This morning (Day 2), I feel mostly fine except a little upset stomach. Rebecca brought me breakfast in bed (Raisin Bran Crunch cereal), too cute! So far, I haven't experienced or imagined any weird symptoms. I'm proud of myself for the latter. I have to go in today and get a shot to boost my white blood cell count. I also have an appointment for a second opinion with a different doctor. This was highly recommended, even though I REALLY like my doctor. Maybe, if nothing else, it will give me peace of mind.

THE HATS!

I have never been much of a hat person. But I have a lovely collection now! My friend, Katie, threw me a hat party last weekend. She invited everyone I knew! My college roommate, Heather, showed up! A new friend from my Beyond Boobs support group showed up! My awesome neighbors and old Air Force friends came in force. It was really great to have so many of my friends show their love for me! It was a great party with lots of yummy treats and wine. Katie thought of everything. She even made me wear a red feather boa! I have some GREAT friends!

I also visited "The Hat Trader". A lady in Williamsburg who survived breast cancer 11 years ago and for the past 9 years has been running a service in her home where she loans wigs and hats for the course of you treatment. She made an appointment with me and I showed up at her beautiful home with my mom and she led us to this gorgeous room with a vanity table and began to show us some wigs she had picked out for me. I ended up finding 3 wigs that I liked! Then, she had me look at her hats and pick out a few. I look better in hats that I imagined! It was very uplifting to go in there and find that I will look OK without hair and that it doesn't have to be a terrible, awful thing. The main thing I hate to lose is eyebrows and eyelashes. You can't hide that very well!

My mom is here taking care of us. She drove up from Alabama! All of my friends have again joined forces and are going to be bringing meals over every other night! What an awesome blessing!

Last week, we went to Friday morning mass (the kids were not happy about that). It was a whole different atmosphere that Sunday. There were only about 30 or 40 people and it was very interactive and friendly. Fr. Mike did the Annointing of the Sick on me and 3 others. It was very touching. As many little old ladies as possible muscled their way to us to lay their hands on us and pray for us. I DID feel better. I would like to make it a regular thing, but it is not a good time of day since I would have to take the holy terror (Mary) with me.

Sorry to ramble. It's been a while and a lot has happened. I hope you're not asleep already!