Chemo is Done!!!!

Last Tuesday was my last chemo! It's been a long week, but knowing this is the last time around makes me want to jump up and down even if I don't feel like it right now. When I got home on Tuesday, the kids and my other parents (in-laws) had decorated the whole house with streamers and balloons and flowers and sang "Happy Last Chemo Day to You!" It was too cute! Although I still have the surgery and radiation to go through, I am walking on sunshine right now. I am so happy to be done with the chemicals and the instant I was done I thought, "Oh, good. Now, I can get back to being myself again". I am setting myself some goals and making plans to reach them. I have talked to so many cancer survivors who say that this whole experience really changes who they are and their perspectives on life. Although no one would ever want to go through it, they say it can actually be a blessing. I was not convinced. I am usually too cynical to think that I could actually be changed profoundly just by being sick. Well, I do admit that I have changed a little.

I don't sweat the small stuff as much anymore. I have really noticed that I don't care so much about getting the best deal on something or saving a dime or worrying about spending too much on a gift, I just think, "What the hell, it's only money. You can't take it with you." I also don't worry so much about the things I cannot do or change, like all of those functions you should attend or chores you should get done but don't. You can only do what you can do. Running yourself ragged trying to keep up with everyone else's agenda will only make you into a crazy person. All you can do is all you can do.

I think I am better with the kids. Chris said he has noticed that I spend more quality time playing and listening to them. We have even turned the TV off for the past 2 weeks! It has been nice to sit and LISTEN to the kids and PLAY games with them and just WATCH them. I am more likely to stop what I'm doing to play a game or watch them perform some death-defying stunt or even involve them in my projects. Watching them play and listening to their little conversations is so entertaining and I am sad to think that I was probably missing out on a lot of that before because I was worried about my to-do lists! I hope I don't fall back into that routine when school starts!

My kids have changed, too. They are all very thoughtful of me and make sure to tell me that even though I'm bald, they still love me (Mary says that! I guess she doesn't realize that being bald doesn't bother me as much as she thinks it does!). The big kids have really been funny about their perspectives. One day I was fussing about my eyes watering, a side effect of chemo, and Rebecca said, "Well, mom. At least you're not blind!". I said, "Good point. Thanks for putting it in perspective!" They have become so understanding about not getting to do everything they want to do. If I can't read Harry Potter to Alex one night because my mouth hurts, he says, "Oh, that's OK, Mama. I understand. I'll read to you tonight." If we can't go to the pool because I have a rash or am feeling sick, they say, "Oh, that's OK. Can we go in the sprinklers?" They can ADAPT AND OVERCOME. They are realizing they are not the center of the universe and are much more likely to think of others! What a great lesson for them to learn!

Chris and I haven't changed much. We are still crazy about each other! He is my knight-in-shining armor and I know that he will love me through anything now that I've seen him love me through this (swollen face, no hair, bad moods, wimp-bag!). I know that I may never be able to show him my love in the same ways he's shown me through this, but I am going to spend the rest of my life showing him how much I adore him. I know. . . as my kids say, "Yuck! Barf me out!"

We are having fun planning for all of our fall activities. It is great to look forward to school and parties and trips and Thanksgiving and Christmas without the fog of chemo to hang over it all. I still have surgery and radiation to contend with but I know they will be a pebble in the road compared to chemo.

The Pink Carpet Premeire of our "A Calendar to Live By" will be on October 2nd. I am looking forward to it and hope I have a little bit of hair by then. It may not be enough to show up. Maybe I'll dye it pink for the night :)

Beyond Boobs Calendar Sponsorship

To my awesome family and friends,

I know times are tough, but I wanted to let you know about an opportunity to support a great club that nobody wants to join. It's a club that welcomed me even though I didn't want to need them. Beyond Boobs! Inc. is a support group for young women with breast cancer. It's sad to say that our "club" is growing and we support many young women through their diagnosis, treatment and recovery. Our non-profit organization is dedicated to saving lives by increasing breast health awareness in women of all ages and nurturing young women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I can't tell you what a blessing it has been to have a supportive group of ladies my age to help me through this process.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I will be featured in "A Calendar to Live By", a very special project to save lives by increasing breast health awareness in all women. If you would like to help by sponsoring this educational, artistic, and uplifting calendar of young breast cancer survivors, please follow this link:

http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/sponsorship_opportunities.htm

There are many levels of sponsorship available. If you would like to see last year's calendar, please follow this link: http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/calendar.htm

If you would like to BUY-A-DAY in honor or memory of a loved one, the cost is $50. Your loved one's name will be printed on the chosen day (first come, first served). Please follow this link for more details: http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/buyaday.htm

THE DEADLINE FOR THESE OPPORTUNITIES IS FAST APPROACHING. PLEASE ACT SOON IF YOU'D LIKE TO PARTICIPATE. (I should have put this out sooner, but alas, I did not. )

Almost done with Chemo!

I know it's been too long since my last post. Sometimes, I'm just not sure what to say. I have finished 7/8 treatments and am doing pretty well. My last treatment is August 12th! I can't wait for chemotherapy to be done. I will feel like it's all down hill from there. The steroids and chemotherapy cause all kinds of interesting side effects as I mentioned in the last entry and I will be so glad to get them out of my system. I am scheduled for surgery on September 12th. Since the tumors have shrunk so much with the chemotherapy, my surgeon is recommending a lumpectomy with radiation. Although I am not looking forward to the radiation, I know it is necessary. The surgery should be easy and I will get 4 weeks of break before the radiation starts. The radiation therapy takes place Monday through Friday for 5-6 weeks! That'll be challenging.

The summer has been going good. We have had lots of help from family and friends for each round of chemo. Our friends have been making sure that we are always fed with meals during to week of chemo. They are always dee-licious! I also got my freezer stocked by my Fiendette sisters from our assignment in Korea. They organized a meal program long distance. I have some awesome friends! The kids are doing well with vacation bible school, Girl Scout camp, Civil War Camp, trips to Grannie's, and various other outings and activities. I am also keeping them up-to-date on their school work as much as possible with worksheets and computer math and letter writing. My mother's helper, our teenage neighbor, has been a great help this summer. She plays with the kids, makes lunch, does the dishes, picks up toys, etc., while I am able to exercise or go to the doctor or just rest if I need to.

I have had some interesting Bald Lady experiences since my last post. First of all, I posed for the Beyond Boobs calendar. I will be the only bald lady in it so I hope I look good. It will be released on October 2nd and I can't wait to see it. Next, I am being interviewed and featured on the cover of the Daily Press (Hampton Roads newspaper) September-October Healthy Living Insert. They will be interviewing several of my Beyond Boobs friends and me for a Breast Cancer awareness article. I am on the cover because they wanted someone that was willing to pose bald. Yes, baldness is my look of choice these days. I get a lot of strange looks and attention, but I also get lots of support and encouragement. The reason I have chosen to leave the wigs and scarves at home is because I just feel the most comfortable this way. Not just physically more comfortable (cooler, less itchy), but also mentally more comfortable. I just never feel like myself in my wigs and scarves and hats. I do wear a hat if I'm going to be out in the sun (I sure don't need freckles on my head). I have to admit that it's getting harder to go bald now that my eyelashes are thinnning and my face is often swollen. I don't look like myself at all. I have been a little down about that. But, this too shall pass. I have lots of cool earrings and have been experimenting with my makeup, too. Hopefully, my photo shoot on Tuesday will be flattering. I hope it will inspire other women who are losing their hair. Not that they should go bald, but that being bald is only as terrible as you let it be. And it's only hair! I am constantly amazed by the people that come up and say, "You go girl!". I have one little lady who just loves my "hair-do" and says I look ETHNIC :) She always compliments my earrings! The other day I was at the bookstore checking out when a nice, older bald man approached me and asked to have his picture taken with me. He said he just thought I was so cool and wanted to put the picture on his website. He owns his own business and gives 10% of his proceeds to charity. Maybe I can coax him to donate it to Beyond Boobs! Today, I was at the grocery store when this little old lady came up and told me she liked my hair-do and wanted to know why I did it. She said that she had lost a lot of hair due to blood thinners and was wearing a wig. She said she had seriously considered going to get her hair shaved really short that morning because she was so hot and itchy, but she wasn't sure she should do it. Then, she saw me and said that my boldness inspired her and she thinks it's all about what's on your face and if you smile and look nice it doesn't matter what your hair looks like. Wow. Just when I'm feeling crappy about myself I get a boost like that. God works in mysterious ways.