Crap! Now I have to face reality.

OK, I guess it's for real now. First of all, I was nervous to go under the knife even though I've done it before and it was always easier than expected. Second, I was still resisting the idea that I actually needed any of this (read: I don't really have cancer!) and having a catheter placed under my skin for future chemotherapy infusions made things a little too real! As I was kissing the kids goodbye and loading them off to yet another generous friend, Alex gave me a tight hug and said, "Be brave, Mama". So I was . . . as much as I could be anyway. The terriblest part was the Sentinel Node Test BEFORE the surgery. This is where they inject this terrible, stinging dye into four spots around your areola to determine which lymph node your ducts drain to. The first injection, as they warned me, felt like a giant wasp sting that got stuck in there. Just as I was about ready to swat it away, the doctor said, "One down, three to go!". I had to dig into the technicians hand to keep from screaming. She was very brave, too! It hurt like crazy! Luckily I was slightly doped up with Vicodan, but not enough! I keep looking for the liquor or wine in these places and for some reason they just don't have any!

I went straight up to the surgery area after they took the pictures and marked my armpits with markers. The Sentara Careplex Hospital is extremely efficient. I have been so impressed with the clinics and the hospital. As a nurse, I have been in a few hospitals and this one is really great. The layout is really efficient, the nurses were very attentive and on-the-ball and the facility itself was very sleek and clean. Aside from blowing my vein on the first try at an IV, the pre-op was standard: change into stupid gown, giant boxer shorts (so I won't be neckid :) and dumb looking silver hat. Chris wanted to take a picture, but I reminded him that "paybacks are hell". He refrained. Finally, the Nurse Anesthetist came in and gave me some totally awesome meds, dude. I felt GREAT after that. Not nervous. Not scared. Whatever, man! I couldn't believe they wanted ME to transfer myself to the bed in the OR, but after that all I remember is them putting an oxygen mask on me. Then I woke up in another room with a different oxygen mask on and a really nice nurse named Barbara. She gave me more pain meds. Nice nurse! I looked at the port . . . not too bad. There is a 1.5 inch incision near my armpit and then a little hard bump about 2 inches away from it close to my chest, but under my skin and barely noticeable. Not so bad. The other incision is under my right arm. It's about 3 inches long. He removed 4 lymph nodes and said they looked totally normally, but we have to wait for the pathology report. That will take about 2 days.

Everyone has been taking really great care of me. Chris follows me around like a puppy dog (except when I'm sleeping - which I did all day after I got home!). He is really awesome! My friend took care of Mary all day yesterday and got the big kids on and off of the bus. Sounds easy, but is very hard because all of mine in combination with all of hers is pretty chaotic! Another friend brought us a fabulous dinner AND banana bread for breakfast! Yummy!!!!

My next doctor's appointment is April 7th. It will be a consult with medical oncologist aka the chemotherapy doctor. She will discuss the results of the lymph node biopsy and my course of care. I will also get instructions about the chemotherapy. The plan is to begin the therapy the week after Spring Break which should be April 15th. My mom will be here by then.