For someone who rarely goes to the doctor, being tested and poked and prodded on a regular basis is enough to drive me cuckoo. Add to that the one-after-the-other doctor's appointments and the stress of worrying about results and procedures and I might pull my hair out!! :)
The results for the MRI showed no other tumors either in the same breast or the other breast or the lymph nodes. Of course that doesn't mean that there still aren't microscopic cancer cells floating around, but their aren't any TUMORS. Monday, March 31st, I will be undergoing a "sentinel node mapping" in which they will find the main lymph nodes that my breast drains to and will remove it to test it for cancer. If it is negative, that is very good and I will need less chemotherapy and less surgery and possibly no radiation. If it is positive, they will be much more agressive. More chemo, more surgery and more radiation. Let's hope for the negative! During this node removal procedure, I will be under general anesthesia and a port-a-cath will be placed in my chest under the skin to allow for easier chemotherapy administration and easier blood draws. I know it is the best thing, but it sounds yucky.
We also had some genetic testing done yesterday. They say I have a 6.9% risk of having a positive BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes. This means that the cancer could have been genetic thing passed from my father's side of the family. I know that my paternal grandmother had some sort of breast surgery (looked like a mastectomy), but my dad did not know exactly what her problem was. He said that she had some lumps and the doctor just removed everything, but he didn't think she had cancer. Since there aren't any other women on that side of the family to look to and I am so young, they want to check just to be sure. We think TRicare will cover it, but if not it is pretty expensive. We feel like it will be worth it to know for my sake and the kids in the future. Hope for the negative!
I plan to spend the weekend having fun and trying to keep my mind off of Monday. I have many friends stepping up to babysit and make meals and get my kids off of the bus when I'm held up at the doctor for 3 hours! What wonderful friends I have!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Cranial Prosthesis
That just cracks me up! Believe it or not, most insurance companies will cover a wig for patients receiving chemotherapy. However, they have done their best to make it an unpleasant/funny experience, depending on how you look at it. First, you have to get a prescription for it from your oncologist. It is actually written on the little slip of paper just like a medication prescription. Except that it says: CRANIAL PROSTHESIS. Now, I don't care who you are, that's just funny. So, I can now take that to a wig shop and file the receipt with Tricare to get 80% paid by them. Pretty good. I haven't decided what kind to get yet, but Alex has advised me to get red and not resort to blonde or brown. I guess he just wants me to look like Mama and not some other random lady. I may not even wear it much, but I want it just in case I NEED it for some reason. My friend, Katie, is going to throw me a hat party. That should be fun.
TESTING:
Well, I had the MRI done on Thursday. Chris went with me. He firmly believed that if he swaggered in there in his flight suit that they would let him go back and be with me. Not! The technicians were all very nice. It wasn't as bad as most MRI's. I had to lay on my stomach on a triangular shaped incline pillow with my boobs down in a hole and my forehead (and nose!) on a little head rest like when you get a massage. They shoved squishy earplugs in my ears because it was extremely loud. They gave me an IV for the dye (it took them two sticks - OUCH!). It took about 30-40 minutes. I won't get the results for a couple of days. I also got my chest x-ray, blood work and EKG for my procedure on the 31st.
I really have to adjust to this whole being "sick" thing. I have always gone to the doctor and pridefully filled out those medical history forms with the fire-walled NO's as there is no history of disease or illness in my family. I am the picture of health. I don't drink or smoke or weigh too much or do drugs. Now, all of a sudden I have to go to the doctor constantly and am thrown in waiting rooms full of SICK people who know the office staff by name. What the heck happened?! I don't like being a patient! I'm not patient enough to be a patient!
TESTING:
Well, I had the MRI done on Thursday. Chris went with me. He firmly believed that if he swaggered in there in his flight suit that they would let him go back and be with me. Not! The technicians were all very nice. It wasn't as bad as most MRI's. I had to lay on my stomach on a triangular shaped incline pillow with my boobs down in a hole and my forehead (and nose!) on a little head rest like when you get a massage. They shoved squishy earplugs in my ears because it was extremely loud. They gave me an IV for the dye (it took them two sticks - OUCH!). It took about 30-40 minutes. I won't get the results for a couple of days. I also got my chest x-ray, blood work and EKG for my procedure on the 31st.
I really have to adjust to this whole being "sick" thing. I have always gone to the doctor and pridefully filled out those medical history forms with the fire-walled NO's as there is no history of disease or illness in my family. I am the picture of health. I don't drink or smoke or weigh too much or do drugs. Now, all of a sudden I have to go to the doctor constantly and am thrown in waiting rooms full of SICK people who know the office staff by name. What the heck happened?! I don't like being a patient! I'm not patient enough to be a patient!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Neoadjuvant Chemotherapy?
OK, here's the latest scoop. We met with the medical oncologist today, Dr. Harden. She was very nice and assured us that this is very cureable. She did not give us a definitive stage or grade since there are still more tests to be done, but for now she's giving it a Stage II. The fact that there are 2 positive tumors and I am so young upgraded me from Stage I to II. She wants to treat me aggressively due to my age (greater risk of recurrence) and the multi-focal tumors. This means that she wants to give me chemotherapy as opposed to just hormone blocking therapy. She also wants to give me the chemotherapy first (before surgery), called neoadjuvant chemotherapy. There are supposedly many benefits to this which include getting rid of any cancer cells that have traveled outside of the breast right away and we can assess the effectiveness of the chemotherapy on the tumor as it shrinks and/or is removed and tested. If the lymph nodes are clear, the therapy will be every 2 to 3 weeks for 4 rounds (that equate to 2-3 months). If there are positive lymph nodes, she will go with 8 rounds (4-6 months). This chemotherapy is usually given once every 3 weeks via IV. It takes 3 hours to infuse and is done in the clinic. If she decides to do it every 2 weeks, called dose dense therapy, it will be the same dosage and side effects only there will not be that last week of feeling almost normal. This will leave me more tired, but with the anit-nausea meds and white cell boosting shot, it is usually tolerable. It will cut the total therapy time considerably and research is being done to confirm that it may be killing off more cancer cells in that 3rd week as they are trying to recover from the previous dose. THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN IN MID-APRIL.
I will lose my hair. This is the longest it has been since I was a kid and I love it. I have a great hairdresser ( you ladies know how hard that is to find!) and she keeps it looking nice without too much effort on my part. I guess it's time to get over it and have fun with a short, sassy haircut. I have an appointment on Monday to get it cut fairly short. I think it will actually be kind of fun to have short hair again, if only it were by choice. I don't think the kids will like it very much. They seem more attached to my hair than I am. Kids are funny, they don't want mom to change too much. When I was 5, my dad shaved his mustache off and I cried my eyes out and told him to "shave it right back on"! I was angry and wouldn't speak to him the rest of the night and told him he wasn't my daddy. I'm hoping if I transition from long to fairly short to very short to shaved it will be less traumatic to them AND ME than to go from long and thick to bald. We shall see.
My mom is planning to come for the first 2 rounds of chemotherapy. Chris's mom and dad are on call and eager to come help when we tell them to. It sure is nice to have back-up fairly close by. Being in the military, we've never had the luxury of living down the street from family like many of our neighbors and friends, but this is the best place we could have been for this to happen since we are relatively close (not Korea!). We also have many friends helping!
One thing that is extremely hard is telling people. It is hard to keep your own cool and be strong when the person across from you breaks down and starts hugging you like they'll never see you again. It's hard to be asked your prognosis, too. I don't know why. I guess it's just hard to talk about what your chances of living are. Anyway, who's to say any one of us has a better chance of living through tomorrow. Depending on what crazy drivers you encounter, you may have a worse prognosis than me. It's hard to break the news because I don't want people to start bawling and saying, "Oh my God. Why did it have to happen to you?" as if I'm about to die, WHICH I AM NOT! What I think I'd like is for people to say, "Oh crap! Cancer sucks! Well, you be strong and kick cancer's butt!"
I will lose my hair. This is the longest it has been since I was a kid and I love it. I have a great hairdresser ( you ladies know how hard that is to find!) and she keeps it looking nice without too much effort on my part. I guess it's time to get over it and have fun with a short, sassy haircut. I have an appointment on Monday to get it cut fairly short. I think it will actually be kind of fun to have short hair again, if only it were by choice. I don't think the kids will like it very much. They seem more attached to my hair than I am. Kids are funny, they don't want mom to change too much. When I was 5, my dad shaved his mustache off and I cried my eyes out and told him to "shave it right back on"! I was angry and wouldn't speak to him the rest of the night and told him he wasn't my daddy. I'm hoping if I transition from long to fairly short to very short to shaved it will be less traumatic to them AND ME than to go from long and thick to bald. We shall see.
My mom is planning to come for the first 2 rounds of chemotherapy. Chris's mom and dad are on call and eager to come help when we tell them to. It sure is nice to have back-up fairly close by. Being in the military, we've never had the luxury of living down the street from family like many of our neighbors and friends, but this is the best place we could have been for this to happen since we are relatively close (not Korea!). We also have many friends helping!
One thing that is extremely hard is telling people. It is hard to keep your own cool and be strong when the person across from you breaks down and starts hugging you like they'll never see you again. It's hard to be asked your prognosis, too. I don't know why. I guess it's just hard to talk about what your chances of living are. Anyway, who's to say any one of us has a better chance of living through tomorrow. Depending on what crazy drivers you encounter, you may have a worse prognosis than me. It's hard to break the news because I don't want people to start bawling and saying, "Oh my God. Why did it have to happen to you?" as if I'm about to die, WHICH I AM NOT! What I think I'd like is for people to say, "Oh crap! Cancer sucks! Well, you be strong and kick cancer's butt!"
Monday, March 10, 2008
What?!
OK, first let me warn you all that I am new to this blogging thing, so don't expect an enthralling reading adventure. Second, I am using this as a sort of journal, so there may be some rambling.
This wild and crazy week of crappiness began last Tuesday, March 4, 2008. There I was, playing Barbies with Mary, when the phone rang (interrupting my fairy's speech on how to be a good princess). It was Donna, the nurse at the oncology clinic. Of course, I was surprised to hear her voice, as I had an appointment with her the following day. I was expecting to go over the results of the tests from the previous week: mammogram, ultrasound, gamma test AND core needle biopsy (the mammogram and ultrasound were "suspicious"). Well, my stomach hit the floor when she told me there was CANCER in the samples. What? Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't mix me up with some older lady with a family history? "No, can you come in today to talk?" "Uh, yeah". I walked around in a daze, crying and trying to keep my stomach from turning inside out as I played Barbies and made phone calls to Chris and a friend to babysit.
It's been a long, crappy week. Stress. Fear. Sleeplessness. Confusion. I am too young! I don't have a family history! My last doctor said it was a cyst . . . LAST YEAR! I am healthier than I've ever been! How and what do I tell the kids? Am I going to die? I have to get my scrapbooks up to date!
I feel better this week. I've talked to so many nice people and received so many words of comfort and hope. I've even made some new friends through this. Although I've never met her, Mary Beth, from Beyond Boobs has been a true lifeline. Beyond Boobs is a local support group for ladies under age 40 going through breast cancer. Since many of the issues facing younger ladies differ from those of the older ladies that frequent most support groups, this is a true blessing.
All of the nurses and doctors I've been have seen have very positive and thoughtful. I am very confident in their ability to help me through this healing process.
For now, all I know is that I have Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma, this means it originated in the duct, but the cancer has begun to spread out of the ductal cells. The cells are well-defined which means they are slower growing. The pathology report shows that they estrogen receptor + and progesterone receptor +. This is good because it means they are very responsive to chemotherapy. I am scheduled for a breast MRI on March 20th which should show exactly where the cancer is and help us determine the best course of treatment. On March 31st, I am scheduled to have a lymph node test and a port placed under the skin, allowing for blood draws and medication administration without repeated needle sticks. Sounds lovely!
For now, I am waiting. Waiting to find out where it is, what it's doing and how to get it OUT! I am trying to be patient and optimistic. I am praying a lot more than usual, which is a good thing. My friends have rallied around me and I feel loved :) I know everything will be fine. I pray that I can keep my heart and mind open through this journey. Should be an interesting ride . . .
This wild and crazy week of crappiness began last Tuesday, March 4, 2008. There I was, playing Barbies with Mary, when the phone rang (interrupting my fairy's speech on how to be a good princess). It was Donna, the nurse at the oncology clinic. Of course, I was surprised to hear her voice, as I had an appointment with her the following day. I was expecting to go over the results of the tests from the previous week: mammogram, ultrasound, gamma test AND core needle biopsy (the mammogram and ultrasound were "suspicious"). Well, my stomach hit the floor when she told me there was CANCER in the samples. What? Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't mix me up with some older lady with a family history? "No, can you come in today to talk?" "Uh, yeah". I walked around in a daze, crying and trying to keep my stomach from turning inside out as I played Barbies and made phone calls to Chris and a friend to babysit.
It's been a long, crappy week. Stress. Fear. Sleeplessness. Confusion. I am too young! I don't have a family history! My last doctor said it was a cyst . . . LAST YEAR! I am healthier than I've ever been! How and what do I tell the kids? Am I going to die? I have to get my scrapbooks up to date!
I feel better this week. I've talked to so many nice people and received so many words of comfort and hope. I've even made some new friends through this. Although I've never met her, Mary Beth, from Beyond Boobs has been a true lifeline. Beyond Boobs is a local support group for ladies under age 40 going through breast cancer. Since many of the issues facing younger ladies differ from those of the older ladies that frequent most support groups, this is a true blessing.
All of the nurses and doctors I've been have seen have very positive and thoughtful. I am very confident in their ability to help me through this healing process.
For now, all I know is that I have Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma, this means it originated in the duct, but the cancer has begun to spread out of the ductal cells. The cells are well-defined which means they are slower growing. The pathology report shows that they estrogen receptor + and progesterone receptor +. This is good because it means they are very responsive to chemotherapy. I am scheduled for a breast MRI on March 20th which should show exactly where the cancer is and help us determine the best course of treatment. On March 31st, I am scheduled to have a lymph node test and a port placed under the skin, allowing for blood draws and medication administration without repeated needle sticks. Sounds lovely!
For now, I am waiting. Waiting to find out where it is, what it's doing and how to get it OUT! I am trying to be patient and optimistic. I am praying a lot more than usual, which is a good thing. My friends have rallied around me and I feel loved :) I know everything will be fine. I pray that I can keep my heart and mind open through this journey. Should be an interesting ride . . .
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