Hooray for BEDHEAD!

It's been too long since my last post, I know. I have been so busy! Last time I posted, I had just started radiation. Now, I am almost done. I have 36 total treatments to receive and have received 29 so far. I should be done the Monday after Thanksgiving. My main side effects are fatigue and skin irritation. Actually, it's more than irritation, it's a burn. I have a mild sunburn to most of my breast and part of my underarm area and a small area that is pretty severe. It is raw and I can't wear a bra of any kind because the straps rub it. Good thing it's sweater weather so nobody can tell my going around town without a bra!

The hair is growing back! I have actually had several compliments on it. I'm just glad to have it! I was definately awkward growing back in, but now it almost looks like a hairstyle. I have actually been excited this week to wake up with BEDHEAD! Now, that's sad. I also had to pluck my eyebrows the other day and was able to curl and apply mascara to my new eyelashes. Yea!!!

A Pink Carpet Affair

Wednesday night was the long awaited premiere of my support group's calendar. Beyond Boobs! has been my lifeline through all of this mess and I am so blessed to have been connected with them. As a fund raiser and a way of educating women, we put out a calendar with pictures and stories of survivors and tons of information on breast health. It is really a great calendar! I was so happy to have my family and friends with me that night. Chris was there looking HOT in his suit and pink tie! Katie and Rob were there (he was in a pink tie, too!). They both looked HOT, too! My mom and her friend, Karlene, drove up from Alabama to attend. My friend and neighbor, Sarah, and her aunt, also a survivor were there. The ride in the Humvee limo was great fun! It was pretty surreal being there and celebrating such a great thing. I even got to sign autographs!



Here is a link to the calendar: www.beyondboobsinc.org/calendar.htm


You can't see the whole thing, but you can see the cover and a few other images. You can purchase these online if you choose or let me know and I can get an autographed copy for you. This is a great gift, especially to young women or anyone touched by breast cancer. As I said, it is also a fundraiser for our group. It's also beautiful!

As for me, I am going great. Radiation is tedious, as predicted. Basically, I drive 20 minutes to my appointment, check in, change into a gown and wait. I usually wait anywhere from 10 to 50 minutes! Then the radiation itself takes about 2 minutes. It is basically a glorified x-ray. I haven't had any side effects yet except a few mild, intermittent shooting pains. They said to expect some skin irritation and possibly fatigue as the treatment progresses. Mary has gone with me to my appointment and the whole staff looks forward to her visit. They keep her entertained during my treatment and "eat her up"! She likes to prance around in there like she works there.

My hair is finally growing in nicely. The top is still a little patchy looking, but is filling in. It is red! I actually had a man tell me he liked the "style" and to keep it this way forever. I think not. My eyelashes are growing in, too! They are VERY short, like a day or two of leg stubble, but there. I can't wait for them to get long enough for mascara. You don't realize how much you need eyebrows and eyelashes until they are gone. I will say that I have become pretty good at disguising my lack of eyebrows and eyelashes with liners.

Radiation

Well, it's been 3 weeks since my surgery and 7 weeks since my last chemo, but who's counting? I am feeling great and have started trying to get back in shape after gaining weight (yes, that happens on chemo!) and losing all of my hard earned muscle. I have noticed that on the days I workout (and some days that I don't) I often fall straight to sleep on the couch after the kids are in bed. Could be the fact that Chris has the remote and makes me watch The Colbert Report. Anyway, I am feeling really good.

Yesterday, I met with the Radiation Oncologist. He was very nice and informative. I will start next week. They did a scan of my breast and chest to map out how and where the "therapy" will be done. It should be great fun. Mostly, I guess it will be tedious as I have to go 5 days a week. But it only takes 10-15 minutes! The side effects include fatigue and skin irritation. I am not looking forward to either one of those, but it has to be better than chemo. I have black magic marker all over my chest now so they can position me properly.

The Beyond Boobs! Calendar premiere is October 15th. I am excited. It should be a really fun night. I get to go in a pink stretch Hummer. Did I say that already? Well, anyway if anyone wants to go, let me know :) Also, if you want a calendar, let me know.

So, I signed up to walk in the Avon 2-day walk for Breast Cancer in Washington DC next May. I am very excited (and scared to death). Two of my friends are also on my team and are big time enthusiastic about fund raising. We are having a gigantic yard sale tomorrow to raise money. Please wish us luck! BTW, the other team member is MY MAMA! Isn't she gutsy?! I haven't started "training" yet, but have started working out regularly.

Things you never thought you'd hear a woman say . . . .

"Oh, crap! I have hair!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after 5 months of no hair, IT IS GROWING BACK! But, much to my dismay, my lovely shade of red seems to have been replaced with some creepy combination of brownish, whitish weirdness. Not only that, but it is a scary looking crew cut. The sides are longer than the top and the top is sticking straight up and fairly sparse. Believe it or not, it is actually harder for me to look at than total baldness. I have taken to wearing a hat or scarf because I don't like how it looks. I know that I need to tough out this initial growing period, but it is funny lookin'. Last night I went to a church meeting and one lady exclaimed, "HEY, WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT SCARF ON YOUR HEAD?!!!" I thought she really needed me to nicely explain my situation, but turns out that she prefers to see my bald head and that she and her family think I'm the coolest bald lady in church! (They also think my kids are cute and sweet . . . I think my shiny head may have been distracting her!)

"Scars are tattoos with better stories"

As all mothers know, saggy boobs and stretch marks are definately the signs of motherhood. Yes, they are hard to look at, but for a wonderful cause. Now, I have a 4 inch scar on my right boob, a 2 inch scar under my right arm and a 1 inch scar near my left shoulder. And, I have it better than most! I have it better than many of my friends. It was a very easy surgery. I have very little discomfort and was just so happy to be past that next step. My in-laws had a heck of a time keeping me from running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am just so happy to be done with the worst of it. P.S. I am thinking about getting a tattoo :) I don't know if I'm brave enough!

"I don't want to go to the tanning bed!!!"

Radiation . . . as far as I can tell it is a doctor controlled body burn. Not only that, but you have to report for this wonderful treatment EVERY DAY FOR 5-6 WEEKS!!! It only takes about 30 minutes (aside for the waiting in the lobby) and causes skin irritation and fatigue. I'm sure my fair skin will love this treatment. The fatigue is supposedly cummulative, but not anything like chemo. I guess it is good that I had chemo first so I can keep it all in perspective. I am scheduled to begin radiation sometime in October so hopefully I will be totally done by Thanksgiving! I will definatley be thankful!

"Yes, please sign me up to walk 39 miles."

A couple of my girlfriends approached me and told me that they wanted to do the Avon 2-day walk for breast cancer in May. I had been thinking about this myself and planning to make the committment to it, but hadn't had the guts to do it. They were very gung-ho about the whole idea and wanted to do it in my honor and start raising money right away. I was so touched. BUT, I am not going to sit and watch. I am going, too! It is May 2-3 in Washington DC. I am very excited!

Getting Back to Normal

It's been over 3 weeks since my last chemo session (and post . . . yikes!). I am starting to feel almost normal. I am trying to get back into shape as I slacked on the exercise routine for the last 4 months. I also ate lots of not-so-good-for-you (but comforting!) foods that assisted me in gaining 15 pounds! I have set myself some goals and am trying to get back into my routine. With the kids starting school this week, I think it will be easier.

My surgery is scheduled for next Friday, the 12th. I will be having a lumpectomy so I am anticipating a fairly easy recovery. Chris's parents will be coming to help out. I am looking forward to getting that next step behind me.

Some exciting news: I was in the newspaper this week. For what? Being bald. No, not exactly, but kind of. They wanted to do a story on breast cancer survivors in their Healthy Living insert and were looking for someone to pose bald. Of course, I agreed. They featured several of my friends and loads of information on Beyond Boobs and other breast cancer support groups. Wanna see it? Here is a link to it:

http://www.dailypress.com/features/custom/healthyliving/dp-hl-breastcancer-main-sept08,0,6791946.story

The kids started school this week. Alex is in fourth grade this year. I can hardly believe it. Rebecca started second grade. She loves school and is going to be a great student. Mary is going to preschool 4 days a week this year. She loves it and is ready for it. She already knows how to write her name and most the ABCs. She is so excited to learn and be with her friends.

The next big deal is the Calendar Premiere. It will be October 15th in Williamsburg. As some of you may know, this is a big fundraiser for my support group, Beyond Boobs. Also, I will be one of the calendar girls in it! It will be a fun Pink Carpet affair and I even get to ride there in a pink Hummer stretch limo! I've never, ever been in a limo before. It should be a fun night. Wanna join us? You can buy tickets here:

http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/purchase_tickets.htm

Chemo is Done!!!!

Last Tuesday was my last chemo! It's been a long week, but knowing this is the last time around makes me want to jump up and down even if I don't feel like it right now. When I got home on Tuesday, the kids and my other parents (in-laws) had decorated the whole house with streamers and balloons and flowers and sang "Happy Last Chemo Day to You!" It was too cute! Although I still have the surgery and radiation to go through, I am walking on sunshine right now. I am so happy to be done with the chemicals and the instant I was done I thought, "Oh, good. Now, I can get back to being myself again". I am setting myself some goals and making plans to reach them. I have talked to so many cancer survivors who say that this whole experience really changes who they are and their perspectives on life. Although no one would ever want to go through it, they say it can actually be a blessing. I was not convinced. I am usually too cynical to think that I could actually be changed profoundly just by being sick. Well, I do admit that I have changed a little.

I don't sweat the small stuff as much anymore. I have really noticed that I don't care so much about getting the best deal on something or saving a dime or worrying about spending too much on a gift, I just think, "What the hell, it's only money. You can't take it with you." I also don't worry so much about the things I cannot do or change, like all of those functions you should attend or chores you should get done but don't. You can only do what you can do. Running yourself ragged trying to keep up with everyone else's agenda will only make you into a crazy person. All you can do is all you can do.

I think I am better with the kids. Chris said he has noticed that I spend more quality time playing and listening to them. We have even turned the TV off for the past 2 weeks! It has been nice to sit and LISTEN to the kids and PLAY games with them and just WATCH them. I am more likely to stop what I'm doing to play a game or watch them perform some death-defying stunt or even involve them in my projects. Watching them play and listening to their little conversations is so entertaining and I am sad to think that I was probably missing out on a lot of that before because I was worried about my to-do lists! I hope I don't fall back into that routine when school starts!

My kids have changed, too. They are all very thoughtful of me and make sure to tell me that even though I'm bald, they still love me (Mary says that! I guess she doesn't realize that being bald doesn't bother me as much as she thinks it does!). The big kids have really been funny about their perspectives. One day I was fussing about my eyes watering, a side effect of chemo, and Rebecca said, "Well, mom. At least you're not blind!". I said, "Good point. Thanks for putting it in perspective!" They have become so understanding about not getting to do everything they want to do. If I can't read Harry Potter to Alex one night because my mouth hurts, he says, "Oh, that's OK, Mama. I understand. I'll read to you tonight." If we can't go to the pool because I have a rash or am feeling sick, they say, "Oh, that's OK. Can we go in the sprinklers?" They can ADAPT AND OVERCOME. They are realizing they are not the center of the universe and are much more likely to think of others! What a great lesson for them to learn!

Chris and I haven't changed much. We are still crazy about each other! He is my knight-in-shining armor and I know that he will love me through anything now that I've seen him love me through this (swollen face, no hair, bad moods, wimp-bag!). I know that I may never be able to show him my love in the same ways he's shown me through this, but I am going to spend the rest of my life showing him how much I adore him. I know. . . as my kids say, "Yuck! Barf me out!"

We are having fun planning for all of our fall activities. It is great to look forward to school and parties and trips and Thanksgiving and Christmas without the fog of chemo to hang over it all. I still have surgery and radiation to contend with but I know they will be a pebble in the road compared to chemo.

The Pink Carpet Premeire of our "A Calendar to Live By" will be on October 2nd. I am looking forward to it and hope I have a little bit of hair by then. It may not be enough to show up. Maybe I'll dye it pink for the night :)

Beyond Boobs Calendar Sponsorship

To my awesome family and friends,

I know times are tough, but I wanted to let you know about an opportunity to support a great club that nobody wants to join. It's a club that welcomed me even though I didn't want to need them. Beyond Boobs! Inc. is a support group for young women with breast cancer. It's sad to say that our "club" is growing and we support many young women through their diagnosis, treatment and recovery. Our non-profit organization is dedicated to saving lives by increasing breast health awareness in women of all ages and nurturing young women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I can't tell you what a blessing it has been to have a supportive group of ladies my age to help me through this process.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I will be featured in "A Calendar to Live By", a very special project to save lives by increasing breast health awareness in all women. If you would like to help by sponsoring this educational, artistic, and uplifting calendar of young breast cancer survivors, please follow this link:

http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/sponsorship_opportunities.htm

There are many levels of sponsorship available. If you would like to see last year's calendar, please follow this link: http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/calendar.htm

If you would like to BUY-A-DAY in honor or memory of a loved one, the cost is $50. Your loved one's name will be printed on the chosen day (first come, first served). Please follow this link for more details: http://www.beyondboobsinc.org/buyaday.htm

THE DEADLINE FOR THESE OPPORTUNITIES IS FAST APPROACHING. PLEASE ACT SOON IF YOU'D LIKE TO PARTICIPATE. (I should have put this out sooner, but alas, I did not. )