Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Better Days
It has been over a month since my last post! It has been so busy around here lately. I finished radiation on December 3rd. It is so nice to have that time back to myself! I had a big ol' party to celebrate the end of treatment and the official kicking of cancer's butt! We called it the Hat's Off Party. Chris hired a caterer to bring finger foods so that we could enjoy ourselves and we didn't even have to clean up . . . which is good because wine goes straight to my head! Lots of my good friends were able to come and we had a really good time.
I decided to change my blog a little bit. I am moving on from "my journal about breast cancer" to just a journal. I know that I will never fully leave the world of pink ribbons for I am forever a breast cancer survivor and supporter, especially of my support group, Beyond Boobs. I have been trying my best to help out by participating in the calendar signings and going to group meetings, but my life has settled back into it's hectic schedule of school functions, Scout meetings, church activities and the general chasing of kids and management of hearth and home. It's amazing how that happens. I do have a much different perspective on life and what's important and that helps me stay sane.
Alex turned 10 this year. He is so amazing. I can't believe my little bundle of joy has turned into a tween. For boys, I'm not exactly sure what this is going to turn into, but for now it's the idea that he is definitely smarter than his parents, especially his mother and he does NOT want to talk about girls. We figure this means he likes them because if we bring them up he immediately turns beet red and says, "Stop It!". He is truly amazing with legos and has developed a new hobby of stop-action photography. Chris introduced the kids to this over the summer when he took a week off and instead of going on a trip, he designed "Camp Davis" during which we did all kinds of activities together as a family. It was really fun. I didn't participate as much as I wanted to, but it was so fun to watch them get excited to do creative activities and have fun as a family. We even had a NO TV for about 3 weeks. It was neat to see them find ways to entertain themselves besides plopping down in front of the visual tranquilizer (it is good for a babysitter when you need to make dinner though!) Back to Alex, he also likes to read books about spies, history of wars, survival and Harry Potter. He has decided he wants to be a Marine and has been practicing by gathering the neighborhood boys and "training" them most evenings. He has a virtual arsenal of long arm rifles and helmets in the garage and the boys stream in and out getting equipment and running out into the field to spy or have a battle. He is very tenacious, too. He received a Ripstick for his birthday which if you haven't seen one is a very strange looking skateboard that is very hard to ride. He was out in the cul-de-sac every day before school practicing until he figured it out. It took him several days, but never did I hear him cry or complain. He just kept trying. I love that about him!
Rebecca is a little tween wannabe. She has stopped wearing dresses :( except to church. Only jeans and shirts for her! In her dreams, she'd really like to look like Hannah Montana, even though she's never really watched those shows (they annoy me!). She wants sparkly everything. She asked for an ipod for Christmas primarily because she sees teenagers using them. She is our gamer of the family. She loves to play games on the computer, especially Webkinz! and can beat her brother at most Wii games. She is a pro at puzzles and card games. Her favorites
are Apples to Apples and Sleeping Queens.
Mary is a hoot. She probably got her fiesty-ness from me. I'm afraid of what this holds for the future (teenage years!). She has grown so much this year. She has been through a lot watching me go through BC and I realize it has affected her more than I knew at the time. She loves school and can't wait to go every day and learn from her awesome teachers, Mrs. Carol and Mrs. Fred. Mary spent the spring and summer being a defiant little fart. She fought me about EVERYTHING! From crying about wearing shoes to buckling into her carseat. She even cried one day when I offered her a cookie. I knew then that it was all just for my sake. She would go from being a little tyrant to loving and hugging and cuddling me into submission. By the beginning of the school year, she suddenly became a sweetheart. Now, she is mostly compliant (she still fights about wearing a coat!) and very thoughtful, loving and tenderhearted. All I have to do is look at her sadly when she says something ugly and she will immediately apologize and run to hug me (or whomever she's wronged). She is constantly making pictures for people and leaving them on their pillows or stuffing them in envelopes and asking me to mail them. For the past several days she has spent hours making elaborate pictures and making me help her wrap them and put bows on them and place them under the tree. She even made one for Santa Claus!!
Chris is awesome. He wouldn't like it if he knew I wrote that about him. He is so humble, but since he doesn't read this, I can write whatever I want! He is awesome! I am so glad I have him for a husband AND best friend. Through whatever I am struggling with, he is there with just the right words or even no words if that is what I need.
My next challenge will be to get back in shape!!! I gained quite a bit of weight and body fat over the last few months due to steroids, lack of exercise and chemo-induced menopause. Not to mention eating like a pig! I know I need to get healthy and fit again. I feel like an old lady! I am starting a new diet and workout plan called Body For Life. I am even going to take a before pictures which will probably scare me straight! It should help me eat better since my biggest problem is laziness. I either don't eat or eat whatever happens to be lying around like the kids' leftover PB and J. It's sad. I WILL do better though.
I decided to change my blog a little bit. I am moving on from "my journal about breast cancer" to just a journal. I know that I will never fully leave the world of pink ribbons for I am forever a breast cancer survivor and supporter, especially of my support group, Beyond Boobs. I have been trying my best to help out by participating in the calendar signings and going to group meetings, but my life has settled back into it's hectic schedule of school functions, Scout meetings, church activities and the general chasing of kids and management of hearth and home. It's amazing how that happens. I do have a much different perspective on life and what's important and that helps me stay sane.
Alex turned 10 this year. He is so amazing. I can't believe my little bundle of joy has turned into a tween. For boys, I'm not exactly sure what this is going to turn into, but for now it's the idea that he is definitely smarter than his parents, especially his mother and he does NOT want to talk about girls. We figure this means he likes them because if we bring them up he immediately turns beet red and says, "Stop It!". He is truly amazing with legos and has developed a new hobby of stop-action photography. Chris introduced the kids to this over the summer when he took a week off and instead of going on a trip, he designed "Camp Davis" during which we did all kinds of activities together as a family. It was really fun. I didn't participate as much as I wanted to, but it was so fun to watch them get excited to do creative activities and have fun as a family. We even had a NO TV for about 3 weeks. It was neat to see them find ways to entertain themselves besides plopping down in front of the visual tranquilizer (it is good for a babysitter when you need to make dinner though!) Back to Alex, he also likes to read books about spies, history of wars, survival and Harry Potter. He has decided he wants to be a Marine and has been practicing by gathering the neighborhood boys and "training" them most evenings. He has a virtual arsenal of long arm rifles and helmets in the garage and the boys stream in and out getting equipment and running out into the field to spy or have a battle. He is very tenacious, too. He received a Ripstick for his birthday which if you haven't seen one is a very strange looking skateboard that is very hard to ride. He was out in the cul-de-sac every day before school practicing until he figured it out. It took him several days, but never did I hear him cry or complain. He just kept trying. I love that about him!
Rebecca is a little tween wannabe. She has stopped wearing dresses :( except to church. Only jeans and shirts for her! In her dreams, she'd really like to look like Hannah Montana, even though she's never really watched those shows (they annoy me!). She wants sparkly everything. She asked for an ipod for Christmas primarily because she sees teenagers using them. She is our gamer of the family. She loves to play games on the computer, especially Webkinz! and can beat her brother at most Wii games. She is a pro at puzzles and card games. Her favorites
are Apples to Apples and Sleeping Queens.Mary is a hoot. She probably got her fiesty-ness from me. I'm afraid of what this holds for the future (teenage years!). She has grown so much this year. She has been through a lot watching me go through BC and I realize it has affected her more than I knew at the time. She loves school and can't wait to go every day and learn from her awesome teachers, Mrs. Carol and Mrs. Fred. Mary spent the spring and summer being a defiant little fart. She fought me about EVERYTHING! From crying about wearing shoes to buckling into her carseat. She even cried one day when I offered her a cookie. I knew then that it was all just for my sake. She would go from being a little tyrant to loving and hugging and cuddling me into submission. By the beginning of the school year, she suddenly became a sweetheart. Now, she is mostly compliant (she still fights about wearing a coat!) and very thoughtful, loving and tenderhearted. All I have to do is look at her sadly when she says something ugly and she will immediately apologize and run to hug me (or whomever she's wronged). She is constantly making pictures for people and leaving them on their pillows or stuffing them in envelopes and asking me to mail them. For the past several days she has spent hours making elaborate pictures and making me help her wrap them and put bows on them and place them under the tree. She even made one for Santa Claus!!
Chris is awesome. He wouldn't like it if he knew I wrote that about him. He is so humble, but since he doesn't read this, I can write whatever I want! He is awesome! I am so glad I have him for a husband AND best friend. Through whatever I am struggling with, he is there with just the right words or even no words if that is what I need.
My next challenge will be to get back in shape!!! I gained quite a bit of weight and body fat over the last few months due to steroids, lack of exercise and chemo-induced menopause. Not to mention eating like a pig! I know I need to get healthy and fit again. I feel like an old lady! I am starting a new diet and workout plan called Body For Life. I am even going to take a before pictures which will probably scare me straight! It should help me eat better since my biggest problem is laziness. I either don't eat or eat whatever happens to be lying around like the kids' leftover PB and J. It's sad. I WILL do better though.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hooray for BEDHEAD!
It's been too long since my last post, I know. I have been so busy! Last time I posted, I had just started radiation. Now, I am almost done. I have 36 total treatments to receive and have received 29 so far. I should be done the Monday after Thanksgiving. My main side effects are fatigue and skin irritation. Actually, it's more than irritation, it's a burn. I have a mild sunburn to most of my breast and part of my underarm area and a small area that is pretty severe. It is raw and I can't wear a bra of any kind because the straps rub it. Good thing it's sweater weather so nobody can tell my going around town without a bra!
The hair is growing back! I have actually had several compliments on it. I'm just glad to have it! I was definately awkward growing back in, but now it almost looks like a hairstyle. I have actually been excited this week to wake up with BEDHEAD! Now, that's sad. I also had to pluck my eyebrows the other day and was able to curl and apply mascara to my new eyelashes. Yea!!!
The hair is growing back! I have actually had several compliments on it. I'm just glad to have it! I was definately awkward growing back in, but now it almost looks like a hairstyle. I have actually been excited this week to wake up with BEDHEAD! Now, that's sad. I also had to pluck my eyebrows the other day and was able to curl and apply mascara to my new eyelashes. Yea!!!
Friday, October 17, 2008
A Pink Carpet Affair
Wednesday night was the long awaited premiere of my support group's calendar. Beyond Boobs! has been my lifeline through all of this mess and I am so blessed to have been connected with them. As a fund raiser and a way of educating women, we put out a calendar with pictures and stories of survivors and tons of information on breast health. It is really a great calendar! I was so happy to have my family and friends with me that night. Chris was there looking HOT in his suit and pink tie! Katie and Rob were there (he was in a pink tie, too!). They both looked HOT, too! My mom and her friend, Karlene, drove up from Alabama to attend. My friend and neighbor, Sarah, and her aunt, also a survivor were there. The ride in the Humvee limo was great fun! It was pretty surreal being there and celebrating such a great thing. I even got to sign autographs!
Here is a link to the calendar: www.beyondboobsinc.org/calendar.htm
You can't see the whole thing, but you can see the cover and a few other images. You can purchase these online if you choose or let me know and I can get an autographed copy for you. This is a great gift, especially to young women or anyone touched by breast cancer. As I said, it is also a fundraiser for our group. It's also beautiful!
As for me, I am going great. Radiation is tedious, as predicted. Basically, I drive 20 minutes to my appointment, check in, change into a gown and wait. I usually wait anywhere from 10 to 50 minutes! Then the radiation itself takes about 2 minutes. It is basically a glorified x-ray. I haven't had any side effects yet except a few mild, intermittent shooting pains. They said to expect some skin irritation and possibly fatigue as the treatment progresses. Mary has gone with me to my appointment and the whole staff looks forward to her visit. They keep her entertained during my treatment and "eat her up"! She likes to prance around in there like she works there.
My hair is finally growing in nicely. The top is still a little patchy looking, but is filling in. It is red! I actually had a man tell me he liked the "style" and to keep it this way forever. I think not. My eyelashes are growing in, too! They are VERY short, like a day or two of leg stubble, but there. I can't wait for them to get long enough for mascara. You don't realize how much you need eyebrows and eyelashes until they are gone. I will say that I have become pretty good at disguising my lack of eyebrows and eyelashes with liners.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Radiation
Well, it's been 3 weeks since my surgery and 7 weeks since my last chemo, but who's counting? I am feeling great and have started trying to get back in shape after gaining weight (yes, that happens on chemo!) and losing all of my hard earned muscle. I have noticed that on the days I workout (and some days that I don't) I often fall straight to sleep on the couch after the kids are in bed. Could be the fact that Chris has the remote and makes me watch The Colbert Report. Anyway, I am feeling really good.
Yesterday, I met with the Radiation Oncologist. He was very nice and informative. I will start next week. They did a scan of my breast and chest to map out how and where the "therapy" will be done. It should be great fun. Mostly, I guess it will be tedious as I have to go 5 days a week. But it only takes 10-15 minutes! The side effects include fatigue and skin irritation. I am not looking forward to either one of those, but it has to be better than chemo. I have black magic marker all over my chest now so they can position me properly.
The Beyond Boobs! Calendar premiere is October 15th. I am excited. It should be a really fun night. I get to go in a pink stretch Hummer. Did I say that already? Well, anyway if anyone wants to go, let me know :) Also, if you want a calendar, let me know.
So, I signed up to walk in the Avon 2-day walk for Breast Cancer in Washington DC next May. I am very excited (and scared to death). Two of my friends are also on my team and are big time enthusiastic about fund raising. We are having a gigantic yard sale tomorrow to raise money. Please wish us luck! BTW, the other team member is MY MAMA! Isn't she gutsy?! I haven't started "training" yet, but have started working out regularly.
Yesterday, I met with the Radiation Oncologist. He was very nice and informative. I will start next week. They did a scan of my breast and chest to map out how and where the "therapy" will be done. It should be great fun. Mostly, I guess it will be tedious as I have to go 5 days a week. But it only takes 10-15 minutes! The side effects include fatigue and skin irritation. I am not looking forward to either one of those, but it has to be better than chemo. I have black magic marker all over my chest now so they can position me properly.
The Beyond Boobs! Calendar premiere is October 15th. I am excited. It should be a really fun night. I get to go in a pink stretch Hummer. Did I say that already? Well, anyway if anyone wants to go, let me know :) Also, if you want a calendar, let me know.
So, I signed up to walk in the Avon 2-day walk for Breast Cancer in Washington DC next May. I am very excited (and scared to death). Two of my friends are also on my team and are big time enthusiastic about fund raising. We are having a gigantic yard sale tomorrow to raise money. Please wish us luck! BTW, the other team member is MY MAMA! Isn't she gutsy?! I haven't started "training" yet, but have started working out regularly.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Things you never thought you'd hear a woman say . . . .
"Oh, crap! I have hair!"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after 5 months of no hair, IT IS GROWING BACK! But, much to my dismay, my lovely shade of red seems to have been replaced with some creepy combination of brownish, whitish weirdness. Not only that, but it is a scary looking crew cut. The sides are longer than the top and the top is sticking straight up and fairly sparse. Believe it or not, it is actually harder for me to look at than total baldness. I have taken to wearing a hat or scarf because I don't like how it looks. I know that I need to tough out this initial growing period, but it is funny lookin'. Last night I went to a church meeting and one lady exclaimed, "HEY, WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT SCARF ON YOUR HEAD?!!!" I thought she really needed me to nicely explain my situation, but turns out that she prefers to see my bald head and that she and her family think I'm the coolest bald lady in church! (They also think my kids are cute and sweet . . . I think my shiny head may have been distracting her!)
"Scars are tattoos with better stories"
As all mothers know, saggy boobs and stretch marks are definately the signs of motherhood. Yes, they are hard to look at, but for a wonderful cause. Now, I have a 4 inch scar on my right boob, a 2 inch scar under my right arm and a 1 inch scar near my left shoulder. And, I have it better than most! I have it better than many of my friends. It was a very easy surgery. I have very little discomfort and was just so happy to be past that next step. My in-laws had a heck of a time keeping me from running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am just so happy to be done with the worst of it. P.S. I am thinking about getting a tattoo :) I don't know if I'm brave enough!
"I don't want to go to the tanning bed!!!"
Radiation . . . as far as I can tell it is a doctor controlled body burn. Not only that, but you have to report for this wonderful treatment EVERY DAY FOR 5-6 WEEKS!!! It only takes about 30 minutes (aside for the waiting in the lobby) and causes skin irritation and fatigue. I'm sure my fair skin will love this treatment. The fatigue is supposedly cummulative, but not anything like chemo. I guess it is good that I had chemo first so I can keep it all in perspective. I am scheduled to begin radiation sometime in October so hopefully I will be totally done by Thanksgiving! I will definatley be thankful!
"Yes, please sign me up to walk 39 miles."
A couple of my girlfriends approached me and told me that they wanted to do the Avon 2-day walk for breast cancer in May. I had been thinking about this myself and planning to make the committment to it, but hadn't had the guts to do it. They were very gung-ho about the whole idea and wanted to do it in my honor and start raising money right away. I was so touched. BUT, I am not going to sit and watch. I am going, too! It is May 2-3 in Washington DC. I am very excited!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after 5 months of no hair, IT IS GROWING BACK! But, much to my dismay, my lovely shade of red seems to have been replaced with some creepy combination of brownish, whitish weirdness. Not only that, but it is a scary looking crew cut. The sides are longer than the top and the top is sticking straight up and fairly sparse. Believe it or not, it is actually harder for me to look at than total baldness. I have taken to wearing a hat or scarf because I don't like how it looks. I know that I need to tough out this initial growing period, but it is funny lookin'. Last night I went to a church meeting and one lady exclaimed, "HEY, WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT SCARF ON YOUR HEAD?!!!" I thought she really needed me to nicely explain my situation, but turns out that she prefers to see my bald head and that she and her family think I'm the coolest bald lady in church! (They also think my kids are cute and sweet . . . I think my shiny head may have been distracting her!)
"Scars are tattoos with better stories"
As all mothers know, saggy boobs and stretch marks are definately the signs of motherhood. Yes, they are hard to look at, but for a wonderful cause. Now, I have a 4 inch scar on my right boob, a 2 inch scar under my right arm and a 1 inch scar near my left shoulder. And, I have it better than most! I have it better than many of my friends. It was a very easy surgery. I have very little discomfort and was just so happy to be past that next step. My in-laws had a heck of a time keeping me from running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am just so happy to be done with the worst of it. P.S. I am thinking about getting a tattoo :) I don't know if I'm brave enough!
"I don't want to go to the tanning bed!!!"
Radiation . . . as far as I can tell it is a doctor controlled body burn. Not only that, but you have to report for this wonderful treatment EVERY DAY FOR 5-6 WEEKS!!! It only takes about 30 minutes (aside for the waiting in the lobby) and causes skin irritation and fatigue. I'm sure my fair skin will love this treatment. The fatigue is supposedly cummulative, but not anything like chemo. I guess it is good that I had chemo first so I can keep it all in perspective. I am scheduled to begin radiation sometime in October so hopefully I will be totally done by Thanksgiving! I will definatley be thankful!
"Yes, please sign me up to walk 39 miles."
A couple of my girlfriends approached me and told me that they wanted to do the Avon 2-day walk for breast cancer in May. I had been thinking about this myself and planning to make the committment to it, but hadn't had the guts to do it. They were very gung-ho about the whole idea and wanted to do it in my honor and start raising money right away. I was so touched. BUT, I am not going to sit and watch. I am going, too! It is May 2-3 in Washington DC. I am very excited!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Getting Back to Normal
It's been over 3 weeks since my last chemo session (and post . . . yikes!). I am starting to feel almost normal. I am trying to get back into shape as I slacked on the exercise routine for the last 4 months. I also ate lots of not-so-good-for-you (but comforting!) foods that assisted me in gaining 15 pounds! I have set myself some goals and am trying to get back into my routine. With the kids starting school this week, I think it will be easier.
My surgery is scheduled for next Friday, the 12th. I will be having a lumpectomy so I am anticipating a fairly easy recovery. Chris's parents will be coming to help out. I am looking forward to getting that next step behind me.
Some exciting news: I was in the newspaper this week. For what? Being bald. No, not exactly, but kind of. They wanted to do a story on breast cancer survivors in their Healthy Living insert and were looking for someone to pose bald. Of course, I agreed. They featured several of my friends and loads of information on Beyond Boobs and other breast cancer support groups. Wanna see it? Here is a link to it:
http://www.dailypress.com/features/custom/healthyliving/dp-hl-breastcancer-main-sept08,0,6791946.story
My surgery is scheduled for next Friday, the 12th. I will be having a lumpectomy so I am anticipating a fairly easy recovery. Chris's parents will be coming to help out. I am looking forward to getting that next step behind me.
Some exciting news: I was in the newspaper this week. For what? Being bald. No, not exactly, but kind of. They wanted to do a story on breast cancer survivors in their Healthy Living insert and were looking for someone to pose bald. Of course, I agreed. They featured several of my friends and loads of information on Beyond Boobs and other breast cancer support groups. Wanna see it? Here is a link to it:
http://www.dailypress.com/features/custom/healthyliving/dp-hl-breastcancer-main-sept08,0,6791946.story
The kids started school this week. Alex is in fourth grade this year. I can hardly believe it. Rebecca started second grade. She loves school and is going to be a great student. Mary is going to preschool 4 days a week this year. She loves it and is ready for it. She already knows how to write her name and most the ABCs. She is so excited to learn and be with her friends.
The next big deal is the Calendar Premiere. It will be October 15th in Williamsburg. As some of you may know, this is a big fundraiser for my support group, Beyond Boobs. Also, I will be one of the calendar girls in it! It will be a fun Pink Carpet affair and I even get to ride there in a pink Hummer stretch limo! I've never, ever been in a limo before. It should be a fun night. Wanna join us? You can buy tickets here:
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